Friday, July 17, 2009

Losing Time

I haven't been around these past week or so due to dental surgery that I thought would be just annoying. I didn't realize it would be so extensive and that I would have to take pain pills that left me an insane person, living on the couch and jotting down outline notes like this:

birds, with the field, not within the scope, seven isotopes

At the time, I explained to anyone who stopped by my cushion how this was going to be an amazing novel, very similar to the writing of Bram Stoker.

Who?

He wrote Dracula which is the only horror book I ever read that I liked. I have absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

I had to spend more time on the couch than I liked (which is none; I am kind of the opposite of a couch potato), but the kids were great. They made tortellini dinners with Ragu and I am now not sure if I can ever eat a Lean Pocket again. Ever.

I alos made some great discoveries about American tv -- I now know -thanks to late night infomercials - that there is a new science termed YOUTHOLOGY. Seriously.

By now, I'm down to one pill a day and a sore lower jaw, and my writing notes make a bit more sense. We've had some fun, though. Baby Cat (aka Cara) the one who went to live in a basket after the arrival of the kittens -



They are so cute; here's just one more:



Anyway, Baby Cat decided she had had enough of not being the baby any more, and she decided to make a break for it when one of the kids' friends opened the door. We all ran after her, and ended up on the lawn of the Squids.

The Squids are our neighbors, the ones in the scary house that is always dark (hence, like a cave) and Emma claims the tree in their front yard is shaped exactly like a squid. We've never actually SEEN the Squids, but Baby Cat ran onto and then under their porch and we all followed. I stood right in their yard and yelled over to the kids, "The Baby is under the Squids' porch." This sentence must have sounded very strange to anyone who heard it, and I would not have hollered that right there in their yard had I not been a little assisted in my loss of inhibitions. Maybe it was thinking about Dracula, and standing there under the moonlight that made me howl that. That, plus the narcotics.

After hearing this, Emma backed away from me without bothering to turn around and Philip ran very, very fast away from all of us. But Christopher ventured under there, coming out with a dried spider attached to the shoulder of his t shirt (this discovery caused Emma to shriek when he came back inside the light), but he did have Baby Cat in his arms.

And I wonder why the neighbors think we are odd.

I can't imagine how folks who dabble in pharmaceuticals get anything done. That sense of losing time makes me feel so defeated; how do you write under the influence of anything? But I'm back. I had a lot of help in recovering:



Philip's about 175 now. Guess I'm going to have to develop stronger leg muscles.

12 comments:

Glynis said...

LOL crazy? Oh well yes ok maybe a little LOL

adrienne said...

Aw, no more goofy comments? ;)

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. And how great of your kids to help out. I like the occasional Lean Pocket - it's way too easy...

Christy Raedeke said...

I really think you need to tap into whatever it was in your brain that outlined a book as "birds, with the field, not within the scope, seven isotopes" because I'd totally read it!

Also, your baby cats are almost as gorgeous as your new profile pic. Love that.

K.C. Shaw said...

At least if the Squids overheard you yelling about them, you have the perfect excuse for not making sense. "Sorry about that, I was on drugs." :)

I'm glad you're feeling better!

Anne Spollen said...

You are so right, Glynis. It IS a little crazy that Squids moved right across the street from us. Who knew?

Adrienne, I can't even pass Lean Pockets in the store now without feeling the tiniest quell of nausea. And the kids did help out. Of course, they loved the fact that I couldn't be the clean-your-room-brush-your-teeth Mom for awhile, and after clearing the table they ran off for three hours of uninterrupted MySpace or SpongeBob marathons.

I think I would have to smoke some opium to retrieve that novel, Christy. I put Dracula on again (the one with Wynona) so there's some connection there. I've never written a horror story in my life and I generally avoid that genre along with Westerns and Nicholas Spark. (Is he married to Danielle Steele?)

And thanks for the profile pic comment. Philip did that (I think he fooled around with the exposure). It was so flattering when he yelled, "Mom, I found one where you can't see any wrinkles."
Love that kid.

If the Squids spoke to us, that would be amazing, K.C. Squids can't talk, except on SpongeBob, right? Seriously, we all ran to the window once when they put their garbage out, but we couldn't see them. I think everyone in the neighborhood ran to the window when they heard noise from that house.

Yeah, you're right, not a whole lot goes on around here...

Mary Witzl said...

Oh, those kittens are SO CUTE! We've been catless now for almost two weeks and it's horrible. And we can't get another cat because we're going back to a place with a no-cats line in the lease...

Whenever I'm out of it, my husband makes 'Chinese' food. Which means we end up with half a dozen bottles of various sauces and several packages of bean sprouts in various stages of decrepitude. I too have been out of it lately: Lean Cuisine sounds pretty good.

175? You're doing better than I'd be doing under the circumstances! But even 175 lbs of kid on your lap are worth it.

Nora MacFarlane said...

I love your blog. You always give me a laugh. BTW, the kittens are adorable!

Carrie Harris said...

Hah! I used to keep a notebook by my bed, and a few times I woke up with the Best Idea Ever, jotted it down and fell back asleep dreaming of the awesomeness. Inevitably, it was just as wonky as your drug notes.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anne! I just saw a book, The Light of Ferns???? on the amazon uk site and i wondered is that yours? When did it come out?

(Remember you said I shouldn't be shy about commenting yr blog? :)))

-Meggers

Katie said...

LOVE the new profile pic as well as your freakish isotopal ideas! LOL

Hope you get off the couch soon :-)

Anne Spollen said...

175 pounds of what used to be kid, Mary, but he's like one of those giant dogs who doesn't get that he's not a Pekinese and hops on laps. Catless? That's terrible :(
Hopefully your next place will allow them.

Thanks, Nora! I have more pix of the kittens on my phone than of my kids.

I know those middle of the night epiphanies, Carrie. It makes such SENSE at the time and it sounds so brilliant. If only it made sense in the light of day.


Hey, Meggers. I didn't know there was an amazon.com uk -- duh. My second book is called "Light Beneath Ferns" and it's coming out in February, 2010. I didn't think the book was available yet, but I'll go check after I was doing this. (And great, your first blog comment is behind you now!)

Thanks, Katie. I'm back now and the couch is no longer my home.

Anne Spollen said...

175 pounds of what used to be kid, Mary, but he's like one of those giant dogs who doesn't get that he's not a Pekinese and hops on laps. Catless? That's terrible :(
Hopefully your next place will allow them.

Thanks, Nora! I have more pix of the kittens on my phone than of my kids.

I know those middle of the night epiphanies, Carrie. It makes such SENSE at the time and it sounds so brilliant. If only it made sense in the light of day.


Hey, Meggers. I didn't know there was an amazon.com uk -- duh. My second book is called "Light Beneath Ferns" and it's coming out in February, 2010. I didn't think the book was available yet, but I'll go check after I was doing this. (And great, your first blog comment is behind you now!)

Thanks, Katie. I'm back now and the couch is no longer my home.