The Former Anne Spollen's Author Blog Is Being Retitled to "Notes from Living Upghetto": Hillbilly YA

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hillbilly YA

The other day I was reading a short story that was, in a word, dreadful.The hopeful writer who asked me to read it is an acquaintance of mine who is looking to make some holiday cash by penning a few short stories. What I didn't tell him is that you get paid in copies for years, and an acceptance can be months, or even years, in the offering. He would be better off stocking shelves at Toys 'R Us.

(Expert 1)

(Expert 2)

I think there's a whole misconception out there that writing is easy, sort of like a hobby. I've said this skadey eight million times, but when I meet people, I almost never confess to being a writer. I've gotten too many weird glances, like I'm saying, "I shrink ocelot heads in my basement and make garlands from their teeth." So I just say I teach English and change the subject back to something about them.

(Expert 3)

But I know I have to say something to this man about his work. It was dreadful due to the dialogue. It went something like, "She's at the beauty parlor." "You don't say." "Yup, she is. Getting her hair all done up for this Saturday night."

Now, I'm paraphrasing that sample, but if you're thinking they sound like hillbillies sitting outside the gun shop, that's pretty much the impression I got. And it's YA. Hillbilly YA. Maybe hillbilly teens still say "beauty parlor" but I doubt it. I'm sure even they go to the Daisy Duke Spa.

You don't necessarily have to have teens to write successful YA dialogue, but I really think it helps to either have them around or work with them in some capacity. I have a ready panel of YA experts. They never seem to mind when I swipe their phrasings. This is one example of a recent dinner:

Emma: Did you guys ever meet someone with an eye that doesn't quite...

Philip: Yes! You mean a slow eye?
Christopher: Mom, didn't you have an aunt with that?

Emma: This girl has it and she talks to me all the time. Like all the time. And I know I have to talk to her or Mom will lecture me on how lucky I am...

Philip: I know. To have two good eyes or something.

Mom: I'm sitting right here you know.

Christopher: I have a paper due in ten hours. It has to be five pages long. Mom, have you ever read...

Emma: So here's the problem. When she looks at me...

Philip: Who ate the last slice of pizza?

Christopher: So what happens when she looks at you?

Philip: You definitely ate it last night.

Emma: I never know where to look. It's just that there are too many...you know, decisions to make on what part of her face to focus on.

And so it goes.

9 comments:

Unknown said...: I'm a new follower and this post was hilarious!

No I'm not laughing because someone has bad writing or you're afraid to share that you're a writer because your not in the mood for 'the look' I'm laughing because the dialogue between teens is hilarious!

I write YA as well and I work hard to master dialogue since it is infact my weakness. Hanging around my nephews and their girlfriends help me understand how to better write them and become more accurate.

I used to be one of those people who thought writing was simple, until I dove into a story and realized somethings that are brilliant are supposed to look easy but never are.

BTW - I'm with you. No one says Beauty Parlor; Monday, 11 October, 2010
Anne Spollen said...: Hi Jen and welcome!

Dialogue is easy for me because I just listen to them and I'm around them all the time. Revision is my nemesis.

Yes, writing and parenting,and to some extent teaching (well) are the three things in life that looked much, much easier to me when I wasn't involved in all three of them.

Just keep hanging around with those teens. Teenspeak sort of burns itself into your brain.; Monday, 11 October, 2010
Marcia said...: *still laughing at that bit about ocelot heads*

I hope the guy who gave you the story wants a real opinion--boy, I don't envy you.; Monday, 11 October, 2010
Bish Denham said...: LOL! Now THAT'S how REAL converstaions go. And it's amazing how many people think you can just write a story, sell it and make quick money.

I've had people suggest we collaborate on a story telling me what a wonderful idea it is, what a big seller it would be. I get very non-committal or I flat out tell them it's a whole lot harder to get published than they think.; Tuesday, 12 October, 2010
Anne Spollen said...: I've learned to be tactful over the years, Marcia. Still, it's so insulting to think someone doesn't have to learn writing as a craft...

Yes, Bish, that is actually a real conversation. The amazing thing is my kids remember them despite their conversational ADD.

And yeah, the whole "bestseller" as a winning lottery ticket philosophy. It's best to be honest with that kind of thinking.; Tuesday, 12 October, 2010
Adrienne said...: I'm guessing your acquaintance doesn't read your blog...?

I love the dinner conversation, and can't imagine trying to write YA without being around teens. I sometimes wonder why there aren't more funny YA books, 'cause teens are hilarious. Maybe adults have a tough time capturing that.; Friday, 15 October, 2010
Anne Spollen said...: Ha, Adrienne, that's the beauty of him knowing me by the last name of my kids (different from Spollen) and not as Anne Spollen. I barely know him, and he only knows that I teach English at the college.

I agree - teens are hysterical. There should be more funny YA books; most of them are more angsty.; Friday, 15 October, 2010
Jemi Fraser said...: I agree - you can't write teen/kid dialogue without talking to teens/kids a LOT. There's a different rhythm and style for each age group. Love your dialogue - so true! :); Sunday, 17 October, 2010
Anonymous said...: What do you say to people whose writing is so bad, you don't know where yo begin?

As for the teens, I have a teen daughter and a bunch of her friends who read my stuff on the look out for things like the correct use of Ew and Eugh. They let me know if there's anything there they just wouldn't say. That sort of checking is vital methinks; Thursday, 11 November, 2010

Books

Light Beneath Ferns

"I have this strange sense that my silence is preparing me for something I can't name . ."

Elizah Rayne is nothing like other fourteen-year-old girls. More interested in bird bones than people, she wraps herself in silence. Trying to escape the shadow of her gambler father, Elizah and her mother move into an old house that borders a cemetery. All her mother wants is for them to have "normal" lives. But that becomes impossible for Elizah when she finds a human jawbone by the river and meets Nathaniel, a strangely hypnotic boy who draws Elizah into his dreamlike and mysterious world.

Only by forgetting everything she knows can Elizah understand the truth about Nathaniel—and discover an unimaginable secret.

Teen made trailer for Light Beneath Ferns.

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Foreword Magazine's Review of Light Beneath Ferns

Excerpt from THE SHAPE OF WATER

CHAPTER ONE
I discovered windows one afternoon and after that, nothing was ever the same. They had always been there, of course, glass panes shimmering in the color of rain, but that spring for the first time, I was able to open the windows in my room. For years, the locks had been painted stuck, and during the winter, heat from the radiator beneath my windows finally steamed off enough paint off the metal wings of the locks could be twirled open. Knowing that I could open the windows attracted me to them, and I began sitting under the windows, staring through the glass at the sky. From that position, on a chair in my room, the sky did not seem real; it seemed a place I was making up, so I watched it.
The white wood of the window panes acted as frames so the sky came to me slowly, and the huge openness of its space did not touch me. All the window glass in our old house had wavers and bubbles inside it, so at times the clouds moved like water, melting and blurring until they passed outside of the warp. After a few afternoons of sitting, the heavens seemed too quiet to keep watching so I began watching a small patch of woods next to our yard that housed little more than trees and a scatter of bony, mean-looking rabbits.
I started gazing at the sky and the woods in March when the branches were still wet and it was then, with nothing outside my window but trees and rain, that I noticed a shine inside darkness, I noticed colors glimmering within the darkness of the wood. I watched birds come and go, I watched rain nipple down from buds to the grass. The water dripping from branch edges and leaves created optical tricks; I could see that as I watched leaves melt.
Then one day I ventured into the space outside. I did not think about doing this much beforehand. I simply opened the window and dropped to the ground below, uncertain as to why this should be such a more satisfying exit than simply using the door; my father worked until seven o’clock and I could do whatever I wanted until then. But I liked the solid sound my legs made when I landed. Leaving via a five foot drop seemed so much more a decision than just using a door. The sense of escape made my heart pound, though all I escaped was the soundless spread of moss-colored light inside my house and the silence.
I had come to know silence well during those months after my mother died. When you sit in silence long enough, you learn that silence has a motion. It glides over you without shape or form, but with weight, exactly like water. Its color is silver. And silence has a sound you hear only after hours of wading inside it. The sound is soft, flute notes rising up like the words of glass speaking. There comes a point when you must shatter the silence, when you must shatter the blindness of its words, the blindness of its light. I did this by going into the yard. Once I stood there, in the grass next to the trees I had been watching, I found silence outside as well. But I was happier outside than I had been in the house, so I stayed for a bit. I stood beneath my bedroom window for a few minutes, looking up at the branches and the crooked pieces of sky colliding between the branches. I believed I could identify the scent of the sky as I stood there, a blue menthol fragrance similar to the scent of seawater that sprayed into my face when I first dove into the ocean. That initial scent smelled much more subtle than the ocean’s heavy, fishy aroma, a whiff of salt and mint that warned a more powerful scent would enter my nose just as I approached the water on a dive. It was the scent I dreamed in. And it was the scent of that spring sky as I stood in my yard.

***