Friday, February 13, 2009

SWAMPED



I try never to complain about my lack of time, and I'm not complaining here: I'm commenting. For the past ten days or so, I have been so busy it's a little surreal. Or maybe it's just the lack of sleep talking, but I have learned a few things about being absolutely swamped:


1. Dust is good for children. It's natural, and it cuts down on that annoying wood glare.

2. You don't need to shave your legs even if all your "work" pants are in the wash; there's a perfectly good reason God made opaque tights.

3. It is possible to dry your hair using the car heat and a little gel. It's not a good idea, but it's possible.

4. They make a great whole wheat mac and cheese now that along with frozen peas covers all the major food groups for growing children. Plus, you can "cook" the peas by draining the macaroni water over them in the colander.

5. You CAN give your kids a sweatshirt that the dog napped on if you fluff it out really, really hard and spray it with Axe Body Mist for Men.

6. There's nothing wrong with a few Christmas decorations floating around the house. They're red and sparkly, and with a quick glance, they could be confused with Valentine's decorations.

7. Congress recently passed a law that stated bed linens are to be changed twice a month, not weekly. It has something to do with the environment and migrating whales and all those suds. I forget how it was phrased exactly, but it was something like that.

8. I need to ask those time manager folks if the following gets an A or a B priority:

Situation 1 from Child 1: "Mom, I have no pants in my drawer and I hear the bus up the street!"

or

Situation 2 from Child 2: "There's a hairball in my gym sneakers. Wait. Gross! Mom! OMG! It's a hairball AND cat puke. And that's the bus! MOOOOMMMMM!!!!!"

I can't tell you how happy I am that it's Friday...

9 comments:

Marcia said...

I love these, especially #7. I hate wrestling new sheets onto beds; too much like physical work.

Fun post!

Nora MacFarlane said...

LOL! Hairball in the shoes. Been there!!!

Mary Witzl said...

Are there really people who change their sheets once a week? I feel dizzy just thinking about it. What Marcia said -- especially when it comes to stuffing quilts into duvet covers. Love the Christmas decorations for Valentine's Day thing too, and why not? Will this make anyone ill? Is it cruel? No. I had a wasp in my shoe once, and the least said about the dead cockroach in my boot, the better.

You could come to coffee here; I'd feel perfectly relaxed about having you see the state of this place. Too bad you're so far away. And too bad neither of us has the time...

Katie said...

HILARIOUS!! I will use that pea draining idea soon :-)

And yes - bring on lazy Saturday

Anne Spollen said...

I know, Marcia -- I feel very put upon when I have to do all four beds. So I halved it to be environmentally sound.

Yes, hairballs are one thing, but accompanied by liquid. Luckily, I keep emergency sneakers in the garage.

Oh, Mary, you have to come to the bus stop by my street where the women all talk about their spring flower seedlings happily growing on their windowsills - already. Of course, they are there early enough to chat while I'm usually running with my daughter.

And that's the problem -- all the folks I would like to have coffee with are booked. One day...

adrienne said...

LOL! Is there any other way to cook peas?

Angela said...

Oh if I had a buck for every time my kids bring down their laundry baskets at 10 PM telling me they need clothes for the next day....

Anne Spollen said...

No, Adrienne, there is no other way to cook peas - except when the restaurant does it.

And thanks for stopping by, Angela! At least your kids bring their dirty laundry to you -- it's worse when they say, "You know those blue pants I need for tomorrow," and you have to mine for them under beds and in the back of closets (which brings about a whole new level of scary)

Jacqui said...

How did I miss this? Hilarity. And if you throw some tuna into that mac and cheese, it's a casserole!