Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Teen Political

I might be the only person in America already sick of the Obamas. I just don't care what they are eating or wearing or thinking: I just want him to fix stuff that's wrong. My kids watched the inauguration almost all day at school. The teachers kept saying, "It's historic," and of course we all know what the nine and ten year olds in my daughter's class were thinking: "Great, no work." My teenagers said some of middle and high school kids were taking bets as to whether or not someone would attempt to assassinate him. (When I nervously asked if they had contributed their lunch money toward such an awful wager, they looked at me and laughed. "Mom, are you nuts? They had hot pretzels today.")

I guess I think 150 million could better be spent on literacy programs or childhood vaccinations or even animal shelters. Do the people in D.C. really need more parties like that? I feel like I could see clips of the last ten presidential balls and not be able to tell which era it's from. Washington D. C. seems to breed a particular brand of beefy political male who stuffs himself into a party suit then twirls around the floor with his Barbie-gone-middle-aged wife. They all just have this look about them. Maybe that's just what really rich, disconnected people look like. Or maybe it's the Botox, I can't be sure.

I know how crabby I sound. And that's precisely why I don't discuss politics with my kids or their friends too much. Actually, almost never. But I did listen to the political teenspeak around my house this weekend. Here are my favorites:

Girl, 16 -- "Imagine having Obama's ears and not having them done? I definitely would have gotten them done instead of getting a car. Maybe instead of college."

Boy , 14 - "Wow. His wife is like bigger than he is."

My Son, 14 - "You think he voted for McCain? Could they find out?"

My Son, 16 - "So they can eat whatever they want, whenever they want? There's a chef there all the time? That would be awesome."

My Daughter, 10 - "On their birthday, his daughters' friends get to sleep over at the White House. So how far do we live from there?"

Boy, 15 - "Did they give him a new car? Does he get to keep it after he leaves?"

Girl, 14 - "What's a brace of birds? I saw that on the news. It sounds scary like the birds are crippled or something and they're going to, you know, eat them."

Maybe because I see the future lolling about my living room and trying to sneak onto the ten year old's Wii, I have an entirely different outlook on America's future. It's still filled with all those corny words like bright and promising; it's just a whole lot less expensive and a whole lot more amusing.


Katie said...

I am totally cracking up! Your post has made me feel much better as I am admittedly a political dumbo. Today I called my screenwriting partner and said, "Are you watching the inauguration?" And she said, "Ooo! I forgot! I wanna see what they're wearing."

I laughed at her shallowness, but fully agreed. So that's exactly what we did. We watched with mute on and worked on our computers. Oh we're sick.

Anyway, thanks for the comment! Glad to meet you! And what kind of wicked cool schools have HOT PRETZELS??!!!! Good night! My kids would KILL for that!

adrienne said...

Ha! Thanks for sharing a fresh perspective. I love the teen comments.

Anne Spollen said...

Hi Katie -- I don't know much about politics either, but I did look at Michelle's dress -- I also looked at the china they used. That's where my interest began and ended. Oh well.

I know - hot pretzels!!! You have to get to the cafeteria early for the line (they always run out) and they only have them on certain days. My boys can smell them dureing class and often leave sweatshirts, algebra books, and homework sheets in their wake as they run.

Screenwriting -- I don't know anyone who's a screenwriter. Wait - now I do!

Marcia said...

Yeah, I guess they have to have the balls, etc. Because if they didn't have them, somebody'd get the idea to have them.

That ears instead of college remark IS pretty funny.

Anne Spollen said...

I had a best friend in high school whose parents offered her EITHER a huge wedding or college - we were about 14 at the time. She chose the wedding, and I remember us both thinking what an easy choice that was. Who wouldn't want a big wedding?

Of course she changed her mind later on (in fact, she became an elementary school teacher) It's so much easier to make decisions at that age...

Mary Witzl said...

Anne, this had me rolling off my chair -- your kids' comments deserve a wider audience! I'm sure the first thing my kids think about is how cool it would be to sleep over at the White House. And that hot pretzels comment is just priceless. (What would he have done if it had been sh*t on a shingle, I wonder?) And the ears thing is so, so funny.

Personally, I am interested in politics and I can't wait to see the stuff Obama's going to do -- (yeah, I'm old, but I'm pitifully, stupidly idealistic). But I could give a rat's ass what gown his wife is wearing -- I want to know what SHE's going to do. One of the reasons he had my vote was because of his wife. Few guys get a wife like that if they aren't worth something themselves. (Or they might get one like that, but they wouldn't keep her...)

Anne Spollen said...

If there hadn't been hot pretzels -then I don't know...

I wish I cared more, but it just seems the same problems have been around for the last 50 years (poverty, lack of funding for schools, inner city violence/ illiteracy - my pet causes)and they don't seem to get any better no matter who's in charge.

But yeah, I think we're all waiting to see what he's going to do. He already said he can't possibly keep some of his campaign promises -- shocking, I know.