The Former Anne Spollen's Author Blog Is Being Retitled to "Notes from Living Upghetto": Still Trying To Be Cool

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Still Trying To Be Cool

So the other day, I got a good review from my students in a course evaluation, my article got accepted in The Writer Magazine, I sent my second YA in to Flux,the always lovely Marcia Hoehne mentioned me in an I Love Your Blog Award, and my best friend won $1000.00 in a lottery scratch off. It was one of those afternoons when you think how everyone who told you not to:

- have a third child

- leave a good teaching job

- move out of state

or

- write (ever)

was wrong. Really wrong.

I was feeling like I was pretty cool, and I don't feel that way too often since I am solidly middle aged and have been known to wear old maternity pants backwards to run to the store. (When I do this, my kids slink down in the seats as we drive).

Then my kids came home and I was quickly deflated.

First, the boys came home, and asked me why I didn't text them back about a question they had about an afterschool game.

"I never figured out how to text," I confessed.

This caused disbelief, guffaws, and glances of sympathy.

"So, like, how do you talk to anybody?"

"On the phone. Email. In person."

(Poor old thing glances)

"Mom, you don't call a car a horseless carriage, do you?" my oldest boy asked.

"She doesn't have an AIM account either," my middle guy offered (meaning -- she is
as hopeless as they get)

So fine. Leave that stuff to high school kids. Then my daughter's elementary school bus came. I knew I would be redeemed. She gave me the wonderful news that she had a book report due.

Now I, along with six other people on the planet, loved book reports as a child. (This gene is rare; none of my kids inherited it).

"Oh, that's great! Do you want to do a diorama? I have shoe boxes in the basement. Or did she say you could do a timeline? Those are such..."

"Um, Mom," Emma says (patiently, slowly)

"I also have poster board and new acrylic paint...what?" She is trying not to laugh.

"We don't do those now. I have to do a web page for my book, okay?"

"A web page! But you're ten! And you weren't even ten last month!"

"It's okay; I already know how to do it. But you can check my spelling, all right?"

"Oh. Right. Sure."

Sigh.

I always thought it was me who would have to be patient with them.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...: The kids I teach are constantly on AIM, with ipods and texting -- must be universal.; Wednesday, 01 October, 2008
Gutsy Living said...: My kids are surprised to see me blogging. Of course I e-mail and am addicted to the Internet, but I don't text, and we've eliminated texting from our sons' accounts. They no longer complain.
I have a few friends in Europe, who refuse to use the computer, and since I no longer write letters with stamps, I have to e-mail their husbands, who then print the letters for my friends to read. When they write to me, they hand write, then the husbands scan their letters and I receive a scanned handwritten e-mail. Strange. We are more up to date than we think.; Wednesday, 01 October, 2008
Anne Spollen said...: Hi Gutsy - and thanks for stopping by.

That IS weird about your friends who refuse to use the computer and have to have printed letters. Old habits die hard...

I think the real difference is I still remember not being able to see a show when I wanted (Tivo), and having to wait more for things. My youngest began using a computer in preschool.

But you're right; there are things we do and know that might surprise these guys.; Wednesday, 01 October, 2008
Marcia said...: It's like technology has a thousand handles we could grab onto, trying desperately to keep up, and we all grab the few that we can.

I text with #3, but our phone account includes free texting. I have a site and a blog; he has Facebook. #2 has none of the above, just cell phone, email, and Internet. But she can sell stuff on ebay, which I've never tried. #1has a cell and emails me from work, but doesn't have the Internet at home. NONE of us have an ipod, though #3 has a voice recorder. When we got our very first VCR I was the only person in the house who could program it. But now? I don't know how to use either the VCR or DVD parts of the machine, and the number of buttons on the remote makes my eyes glaze over. DH and I tried and failed to record a football game last weekend. And we even used the instruction book . . .; Friday, 03 October, 2008
Marcia said...: But I forgot the other half of my comment! Congratulations on all the good stuff that's been happening, Anne! A great review, an article in The Writer, and a finished book. Woo-hoo!; Friday, 03 October, 2008
Anne Spollen said...: Thanks, Marcia. Sometimes I get so...bleh :(
with my kids texting night and day (they and their friends sometimes get/create upwards of 20,000 texts a month -- of course these include hundreds of OMG and LOL and BRB), and the phones ringing while I drive and people clicking my name into their Blackberries that I want to go live on a prairie and raise wheatberries alongside the howl of coyotes.

Well, maybe not the coyotes, but
something along those lines.; Friday, 03 October, 2008
Adrienne said...: Oh, I miss those creative book reports! I hate that kids don't draw much anymore. When they need a picture for a report they just google it.
-jlinsky from Verla Kay's; Friday, 03 October, 2008
Kelly Polark said...: I used to love book reports, too!
I am a SLOOOOOOOOOOW texter. I don't text often, but when I do I wonder why I didn't just call the person in the first place (though I'm usually answering a text, I never start them!)
Kelly (blueboards); Friday, 03 October, 2008
Jacqui said...: Oh, I am text obsessed, I'll admit. But I'm also very aware that someday my kids will be as frustrated about something computer-related with me as I have been watching my father fight with the remote control...; Friday, 03 October, 2008
TerriRainer said...: ROFL

I have learned to text, and I have AOL, so that whole AIM thing is covered.

AND I LOVE BOOK REPORTS, or at least I did when I was in school.

I'm still a big weirdo dorky mom though. Some things never change!

:) Terri; Saturday, 04 October, 2008
Anne Spollen said...: Ok, so that's Adrienne, Kelli and
Terri (and thanks for stopping by!)
that I can add to the six people on the planet other than me who liked book reports as a child. I'm going to go out on a limb here, and assume Marcia liked them, too.
We just need to find the other two folks...; Monday, 06 October, 2008
Jacqui said...: I LOVED dioramas. Count me in.; Monday, 06 October, 2008
Anne Spollen said...: Duh - NOW we need two more -- I said six people other than me on the planet liked book reports -- so I'll add diorama-loving Jacqui, and with Terri, Adrienne, Kelly and Marcia (who never said one way or the other -- I just politely drafted her) I'll meet just two more folks to prove my point.; Tuesday, 07 October, 2008

Books

Light Beneath Ferns

"I have this strange sense that my silence is preparing me for something I can't name . ."

Elizah Rayne is nothing like other fourteen-year-old girls. More interested in bird bones than people, she wraps herself in silence. Trying to escape the shadow of her gambler father, Elizah and her mother move into an old house that borders a cemetery. All her mother wants is for them to have "normal" lives. But that becomes impossible for Elizah when she finds a human jawbone by the river and meets Nathaniel, a strangely hypnotic boy who draws Elizah into his dreamlike and mysterious world.

Only by forgetting everything she knows can Elizah understand the truth about Nathaniel—and discover an unimaginable secret.

Teen made trailer for Light Beneath Ferns.

Order Light Beneath Ferns here.

Foreword Magazine's Review of Light Beneath Ferns

Excerpt from THE SHAPE OF WATER

CHAPTER ONE
I discovered windows one afternoon and after that, nothing was ever the same. They had always been there, of course, glass panes shimmering in the color of rain, but that spring for the first time, I was able to open the windows in my room. For years, the locks had been painted stuck, and during the winter, heat from the radiator beneath my windows finally steamed off enough paint off the metal wings of the locks could be twirled open. Knowing that I could open the windows attracted me to them, and I began sitting under the windows, staring through the glass at the sky. From that position, on a chair in my room, the sky did not seem real; it seemed a place I was making up, so I watched it.
The white wood of the window panes acted as frames so the sky came to me slowly, and the huge openness of its space did not touch me. All the window glass in our old house had wavers and bubbles inside it, so at times the clouds moved like water, melting and blurring until they passed outside of the warp. After a few afternoons of sitting, the heavens seemed too quiet to keep watching so I began watching a small patch of woods next to our yard that housed little more than trees and a scatter of bony, mean-looking rabbits.
I started gazing at the sky and the woods in March when the branches were still wet and it was then, with nothing outside my window but trees and rain, that I noticed a shine inside darkness, I noticed colors glimmering within the darkness of the wood. I watched birds come and go, I watched rain nipple down from buds to the grass. The water dripping from branch edges and leaves created optical tricks; I could see that as I watched leaves melt.
Then one day I ventured into the space outside. I did not think about doing this much beforehand. I simply opened the window and dropped to the ground below, uncertain as to why this should be such a more satisfying exit than simply using the door; my father worked until seven o’clock and I could do whatever I wanted until then. But I liked the solid sound my legs made when I landed. Leaving via a five foot drop seemed so much more a decision than just using a door. The sense of escape made my heart pound, though all I escaped was the soundless spread of moss-colored light inside my house and the silence.
I had come to know silence well during those months after my mother died. When you sit in silence long enough, you learn that silence has a motion. It glides over you without shape or form, but with weight, exactly like water. Its color is silver. And silence has a sound you hear only after hours of wading inside it. The sound is soft, flute notes rising up like the words of glass speaking. There comes a point when you must shatter the silence, when you must shatter the blindness of its words, the blindness of its light. I did this by going into the yard. Once I stood there, in the grass next to the trees I had been watching, I found silence outside as well. But I was happier outside than I had been in the house, so I stayed for a bit. I stood beneath my bedroom window for a few minutes, looking up at the branches and the crooked pieces of sky colliding between the branches. I believed I could identify the scent of the sky as I stood there, a blue menthol fragrance similar to the scent of seawater that sprayed into my face when I first dove into the ocean. That initial scent smelled much more subtle than the ocean’s heavy, fishy aroma, a whiff of salt and mint that warned a more powerful scent would enter my nose just as I approached the water on a dive. It was the scent I dreamed in. And it was the scent of that spring sky as I stood in my yard.

***