The Former Anne Spollen's Author Blog Is Being Retitled to "Notes from Living Upghetto": Happy Mothers' Day!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Happy Mothers' Day!

Mothers' Day is fast approaching, and like most holidays, this one is high on the hokey list. A few people sent me email quizzes this morning. You could find out what kind of TV mom you are, what kind of animal mom you are, even what kind of flower mom you are.

I had to work most of today, so I never took the quizzes. That probably says more about what kind of mom I am than the quizzes. Anyway, I never found a quiz that really echoed my particular mom experience, questions like this:

1. You are at a T ball game when a strange man arrives who does not seem to have a child involved in the game. You:

a) assume he has an introverted child somewhere on the field and ignore him
b) keep a careful eye on him while still watching your child run to first base
c) openly record the pedophile with your Camcorder until he flees

Three extra points if you can guess what I did in that situation. I still have the tape.

My boys sort of groaned when I reminded them it was Mothers' Day this Sunday. It was a soft, quiet groan, and I knew what it meant: she's going to ask us to do something.

I am. I am going to ask them to write something. That's all I told them. They looked at each other for a long moment.

"Write what?" Philip asked. "Don't make us write a poem or anything like that."

"There's an idea," I said.

Christopher shot his brother a scalding glance.

"It's sort of a poem. I want just a few short sentences about what you like about being in this family."

Loud groan.

"Can't we write about something else?" Christopher asked.

"Nope. I have to cook on Mothers' Day, which is illegal by the way, so you guys have to do this. Emma can't wait."

"Uh," Christopher reminded me, "she's a girl. They like this stuff."

"Lucky for her, isn't it?"

There were Napoleon Dynamite type sighs, snorty grunts, then they found a bag of corn chips and all was well.

It's probably the last year I can get away with this, but that's what I want. I know they are buying me a pair of earrings because they do every year. I love the earrings. But I really want those sentences more. I promised not to let anyone else read them, but I can't wait.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!

6 comments:

Christy Raedeke said...: Oh how I would love to read those sentences! Great idea. Looking forward to when my boy can write anything more than the letters in his name, which he does in the wrong order.

For Mothers Day the only thing I want is to stay in my pajamas and read in bed all day. I will consider it a success if my legs are completely atrophied by Monday.

Happy Mothers Day x3 to you!; Friday, 08 May, 2009
Bish Denham said...: Have a wonderful Mother's Day! Someday in the future you may be able to like totally embarrass your boys with those sentences.

(Wow! the word verification was bished); Saturday, 09 May, 2009
Mary Witzl said...: Good for you, pointing out that it is illegal for mothers to cook on Mother's Day. A lot of people don't know about this arcane law and I've been forced to correct their ignorance time after time. I'm just glad someone else has heard of this!

Hope you get some nice earrings. I'm hoping for a foot massage and a neck rub.; Saturday, 09 May, 2009
Mary Witzl said...: And post the sentences when you get them!; Saturday, 09 May, 2009
Anne Spollen said...: Hah, Christy, hope you get your wish and your muscles turn to mush for the day.

My boys used to make cards that said, Mom, I Love You and Me So Much -- funny stuff like that. I really miss those cards. I'm thinking Christopher is probably NOT going to do it, and Philip got mad at me this morning and asked if he could write TWO cards -- one that detailed how annoying I am. I said sure -- he won't b/c it's additional writing.

So you heard of that law too, Mary?
There are several of them that only a few folks know about, but that is one of them. It's probably a good thing I don't mind cooking, but I really wish someone else would clean the bathrooms this weekend...

Hope you all have a great Mother's Day!!!

Bish, my presence near their friends embarrasses them already. They say stuff like, "Mom, you can be there, but don't tell anyone your opinion on anything. Not even if they ask."; Saturday, 09 May, 2009
Adrienne said...: Great idea - I might have to steal it! We actually played If You Were a Vegetable What Would You Be? on the ride home from the mall...
Also pretty revealing. Sigh.; Monday, 11 May, 2009

Books

Light Beneath Ferns

"I have this strange sense that my silence is preparing me for something I can't name . ."

Elizah Rayne is nothing like other fourteen-year-old girls. More interested in bird bones than people, she wraps herself in silence. Trying to escape the shadow of her gambler father, Elizah and her mother move into an old house that borders a cemetery. All her mother wants is for them to have "normal" lives. But that becomes impossible for Elizah when she finds a human jawbone by the river and meets Nathaniel, a strangely hypnotic boy who draws Elizah into his dreamlike and mysterious world.

Only by forgetting everything she knows can Elizah understand the truth about Nathaniel—and discover an unimaginable secret.

Teen made trailer for Light Beneath Ferns.

Order Light Beneath Ferns here.

Foreword Magazine's Review of Light Beneath Ferns

Excerpt from THE SHAPE OF WATER

CHAPTER ONE
I discovered windows one afternoon and after that, nothing was ever the same. They had always been there, of course, glass panes shimmering in the color of rain, but that spring for the first time, I was able to open the windows in my room. For years, the locks had been painted stuck, and during the winter, heat from the radiator beneath my windows finally steamed off enough paint off the metal wings of the locks could be twirled open. Knowing that I could open the windows attracted me to them, and I began sitting under the windows, staring through the glass at the sky. From that position, on a chair in my room, the sky did not seem real; it seemed a place I was making up, so I watched it.
The white wood of the window panes acted as frames so the sky came to me slowly, and the huge openness of its space did not touch me. All the window glass in our old house had wavers and bubbles inside it, so at times the clouds moved like water, melting and blurring until they passed outside of the warp. After a few afternoons of sitting, the heavens seemed too quiet to keep watching so I began watching a small patch of woods next to our yard that housed little more than trees and a scatter of bony, mean-looking rabbits.
I started gazing at the sky and the woods in March when the branches were still wet and it was then, with nothing outside my window but trees and rain, that I noticed a shine inside darkness, I noticed colors glimmering within the darkness of the wood. I watched birds come and go, I watched rain nipple down from buds to the grass. The water dripping from branch edges and leaves created optical tricks; I could see that as I watched leaves melt.
Then one day I ventured into the space outside. I did not think about doing this much beforehand. I simply opened the window and dropped to the ground below, uncertain as to why this should be such a more satisfying exit than simply using the door; my father worked until seven o’clock and I could do whatever I wanted until then. But I liked the solid sound my legs made when I landed. Leaving via a five foot drop seemed so much more a decision than just using a door. The sense of escape made my heart pound, though all I escaped was the soundless spread of moss-colored light inside my house and the silence.
I had come to know silence well during those months after my mother died. When you sit in silence long enough, you learn that silence has a motion. It glides over you without shape or form, but with weight, exactly like water. Its color is silver. And silence has a sound you hear only after hours of wading inside it. The sound is soft, flute notes rising up like the words of glass speaking. There comes a point when you must shatter the silence, when you must shatter the blindness of its words, the blindness of its light. I did this by going into the yard. Once I stood there, in the grass next to the trees I had been watching, I found silence outside as well. But I was happier outside than I had been in the house, so I stayed for a bit. I stood beneath my bedroom window for a few minutes, looking up at the branches and the crooked pieces of sky colliding between the branches. I believed I could identify the scent of the sky as I stood there, a blue menthol fragrance similar to the scent of seawater that sprayed into my face when I first dove into the ocean. That initial scent smelled much more subtle than the ocean’s heavy, fishy aroma, a whiff of salt and mint that warned a more powerful scent would enter my nose just as I approached the water on a dive. It was the scent I dreamed in. And it was the scent of that spring sky as I stood in my yard.

***