The Former Anne Spollen's Author Blog Is Being Retitled to "Notes from Living Upghetto": Teens and Mood Swings

Monday, December 7, 2009

Teens and Mood Swings

Most people who work with teens will complain mightily of mood swings, and what they mean is the mood swings of teens. My take on it is a little bit different; I think they cause mood swings in the adults around them. Or maybe that's just me. I do know I have stable moods when I am away from them. Once I am around them, I am as mercurial as any emo friend of theirs.

This weekend, we had our first bad weather. I discovered an infestation of teens in my living room and they were the kind that eat tubes of yogurt and leave the wrappers behind, take fresh glasses for a second glass of juice and open all three bags of crackers because they have to smell them first to see if they will like them. They are the kind that never go home.

Of course, while I was glowering at them, Mazy came up to me and did one of these:

which means she has to go do what dogs do in the wild. Except it was sleeting and freezing out and when I asked one of those healthy, young teens to take her, they all burrowed deeper into their couch blankets. I pulled out the one teen who was mine.

"Dude Mom," Philip protested, "it's too wet even for the dog."

"Think of something," I told him, "you have to do at least one chore around here if you want to keep doing nothing."

I walked away. Five minutes later, Philip came back with the one girl who drives. They had an idea. We would put Mazy in her van, take the extension leash to the bottom of the street, reel it out and let her poop.

I thought about it. It sounded like a no. The wind howled. Mazy howled. "We'll try it."

Yup, there we were, inside the van, letting the dog leash out like fish line. The kids remembered to bring a flashlight so we could witness the moment of truth. Once they were certain Mazy was done, they started singing, "Celebrate..."

I thought they did really well on that one. I picked up the wet socks, food wrappers and soda cans in a fine mood. That was Saturday.

Last night, Sunday, Christopher woke me up around 3 a.m. "Mom Dude, you know anything about MLA format for research? You'll like it. It's writing. Sort of."

I sat up. "Did you start it?"

Dumb question. And another mood change.

He had been playing Halo all day, and apparently all night. I was saying psychically sensitive things like, "So, have they ever done a study that correlates brain tumors with that headset?" and other things like, "You know, this is the kind of thing Howard Hughes would do if he were still alive. Remember, he's the guy who saved his urine?" Christopher kept putting his hand over the mic and whispering to his friends, "Wait. My MOM is here."

So yes, between 3 and 5 am this morning, I had to "help" research his MLA paper because he was involved in a Halo tournament of some kind. ("Help" means he sleeps while I find sources for research and document them) Around 5, Mazy gave her call of the wild again.

Philip woke up, rushed over to me at the computer and bear hugged me, "Remember when you used to call me Little Big Beluga?"

New mood change. Happy one. He walked the dog. I finished the research. I glowered at Christopher until I was at work, looking through some pictures on my phone. I knew I couldn't stay mad at him; he had taken this one of the kittens:

And I don't think anyone could look at that picture and not feel better.

Of course,they're due home any minute. With grades. I'll see how long that picture sustains me.

13 comments:

Bish Denham said...: An infestation of teens...LOVE IT! And sometimes they can come up with good ideas. Just remember their brains aren't fully developed until they're in their 20s. It's not you that's making the mood swings...it's them.

As for the other, there's is no way either of my parents would have done research for me, particularly if it was MY fault for not having got it done. Failing would have been the natural consicquence.; Monday, 07 December, 2009
Stewart Sternberg (half of L.P. Styles) said...: I have much experience with teenagers. I'm thinking of writing a field manual. I've observed them close and in the field...and I believe they're preparing for some frightening insurrection. I'll tell you more later.; Monday, 07 December, 2009
Anne Spollen said...: Ya, Bish, they can come up with good ideas - particularly if they guarantee the continuation of their warmth and comfort.

And C. did some of the research - I put it into MLA form, then made him learn it the next afternoon. Now the one time Prince of video games has been dethroned to the low tech of only a clock radio in his room - at least until his paper is done.

Yes, Stewart, I have had those same thoughts. Sometimes I watch them in my own living room and feel like Margaret Mead.; Tuesday, 08 December, 2009
Elizabeth Bradley said...: All familiar territory for me. You have no idea.; Tuesday, 08 December, 2009
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; Tuesday, 08 December, 2009
Anne Spollen said...: think raising kids is a universal experience, Elizabeth. When I talk to other Moms, it's like we're all telling the same story.

I'm not sure if that's cool or scary.; Tuesday, 08 December, 2009
Hardygirl said...: This is so great! And, I love the image of the dog on a fishline. Only teens would come up with a solution like that.

sf; Tuesday, 08 December, 2009
K.C. Shaw said...: I half expect your infestation of teenagers to end up solving mysteries like the Scooby Doo gang. I bet they'd be good at it, considering how clever their solution for walking the dog. :); Thursday, 10 December, 2009
Carrie Harris said...: You might consider taking that picture and tattooing it on their foreheads.

It's just a thought.; Thursday, 10 December, 2009
Glynis Peters said...: Lol, my daughter just married one of the teens who infested my home. He is a friend of my son's. Prior to the wedding,I asked him whatever happened to the boy with the smelly feet. I was then introduced to the Best Man!
You brought back good memories, good luck for the future...lol.; Sunday, 13 December, 2009
Anne Spollen said...: Fishline Hound -- title of my next book, sf. It was actually quite a sight. We definitely provide the neighborhood with entertainment.

K.C., I forgot about Scooby Doo! But yeah, you are right. Except our dog is part wolf, so she might attack all the suspects.

The poopy face of Mazy, Carrie. Might be an improvement over some of the tattoos they already have. Sad to say...

Dear God, Glynis. I'll move my boys to the west of Ireland at the merest hint of seriousness with one of these girls.(Yes, that's my battle cry -- "We're moving to the west of Ireland because there's nothing there for you guys to get in trouble with_)

Then again, the girls' parents might be thinking the same thing --; Sunday, 13 December, 2009
Mary Witzl said...: Mmm hmm. This rings a bell. My mood took a real nose dive a couple of years ago when our eldest let me know that she needed a little help with English. I was perfectly fine until I found out it was an essay on Lady Macbeth, a short story, and Lord of the Flies. All in one night...; Sunday, 13 December, 2009
Anne Spollen said...: But you can do that, Mary -- you're MOM.

Yes, all familiar. I think it's perspective they lack, how long things take, what they are asking -- and I guess that just comes with experience.; Monday, 14 December, 2009

Books

Light Beneath Ferns

"I have this strange sense that my silence is preparing me for something I can't name . ."

Elizah Rayne is nothing like other fourteen-year-old girls. More interested in bird bones than people, she wraps herself in silence. Trying to escape the shadow of her gambler father, Elizah and her mother move into an old house that borders a cemetery. All her mother wants is for them to have "normal" lives. But that becomes impossible for Elizah when she finds a human jawbone by the river and meets Nathaniel, a strangely hypnotic boy who draws Elizah into his dreamlike and mysterious world.

Only by forgetting everything she knows can Elizah understand the truth about Nathaniel—and discover an unimaginable secret.

Teen made trailer for Light Beneath Ferns.

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Foreword Magazine's Review of Light Beneath Ferns

Excerpt from THE SHAPE OF WATER

CHAPTER ONE
I discovered windows one afternoon and after that, nothing was ever the same. They had always been there, of course, glass panes shimmering in the color of rain, but that spring for the first time, I was able to open the windows in my room. For years, the locks had been painted stuck, and during the winter, heat from the radiator beneath my windows finally steamed off enough paint off the metal wings of the locks could be twirled open. Knowing that I could open the windows attracted me to them, and I began sitting under the windows, staring through the glass at the sky. From that position, on a chair in my room, the sky did not seem real; it seemed a place I was making up, so I watched it.
The white wood of the window panes acted as frames so the sky came to me slowly, and the huge openness of its space did not touch me. All the window glass in our old house had wavers and bubbles inside it, so at times the clouds moved like water, melting and blurring until they passed outside of the warp. After a few afternoons of sitting, the heavens seemed too quiet to keep watching so I began watching a small patch of woods next to our yard that housed little more than trees and a scatter of bony, mean-looking rabbits.
I started gazing at the sky and the woods in March when the branches were still wet and it was then, with nothing outside my window but trees and rain, that I noticed a shine inside darkness, I noticed colors glimmering within the darkness of the wood. I watched birds come and go, I watched rain nipple down from buds to the grass. The water dripping from branch edges and leaves created optical tricks; I could see that as I watched leaves melt.
Then one day I ventured into the space outside. I did not think about doing this much beforehand. I simply opened the window and dropped to the ground below, uncertain as to why this should be such a more satisfying exit than simply using the door; my father worked until seven o’clock and I could do whatever I wanted until then. But I liked the solid sound my legs made when I landed. Leaving via a five foot drop seemed so much more a decision than just using a door. The sense of escape made my heart pound, though all I escaped was the soundless spread of moss-colored light inside my house and the silence.
I had come to know silence well during those months after my mother died. When you sit in silence long enough, you learn that silence has a motion. It glides over you without shape or form, but with weight, exactly like water. Its color is silver. And silence has a sound you hear only after hours of wading inside it. The sound is soft, flute notes rising up like the words of glass speaking. There comes a point when you must shatter the silence, when you must shatter the blindness of its words, the blindness of its light. I did this by going into the yard. Once I stood there, in the grass next to the trees I had been watching, I found silence outside as well. But I was happier outside than I had been in the house, so I stayed for a bit. I stood beneath my bedroom window for a few minutes, looking up at the branches and the crooked pieces of sky colliding between the branches. I believed I could identify the scent of the sky as I stood there, a blue menthol fragrance similar to the scent of seawater that sprayed into my face when I first dove into the ocean. That initial scent smelled much more subtle than the ocean’s heavy, fishy aroma, a whiff of salt and mint that warned a more powerful scent would enter my nose just as I approached the water on a dive. It was the scent I dreamed in. And it was the scent of that spring sky as I stood in my yard.

***